Always Unsettled
Name: Alexandra Fletcher
Current Location: South Carolina
A current word or intention in your life at the moment: Surrender
What has been the biggest change in your life since your Unsettled retreat?
Most of my life I introduced the character I preferred to be, an untethered, tenacious freelance writer. The truth, for 16 years I lived on the precipice of my potential. After college and internships, I largely worked as a waitress anchored to a zip code, who only dreamed bigger in the fractures of light that escaped an overwhelming wall of self-doubt. I came back from Nicaragua energized; I had a full time serving job, unfinished freelance projects, tons of bills/debt, and no idea how I would alter the trajectory of my life, but finally believed I could. My Unsettled comrades in confusion held my hand without ever touching me. They inspired me with their willingness to explore themselves, the reminder that I wasn’t alone in questioning the prescribed hierarchy of living. It was in that synchronicity I finally found the inspiration and courage to begin to curate a life of my own design. Six months and 500 cover letters later, I landed a remote gig. I quit my serving job, sold all my things and left New York. In the subsequent six months, I’ve stayed in 2 countries, 6 states, and countless cities. I’ve published travel pieces, I’m getting consistent requests for freelance work, and next month I’m off to Europe to reunite with a Nicaragua alum in Bulgaria.
After your retreat, what does it mean to you to Live Unsettled?
My version of living Unsettled isn’t about a remote job or vacation, it is a pause and reflective communion accessible anywhere. For me, it’s taking internal inventory outside the dulled noise of monotony to make room for my voice; It is unity in the search for courage, making the time to witness my reflection in the contrasting biographies of others. With each of my journeys, I strive for this. To be Unsettled in the way I connect, to seek deeper and walk forward with an open heart and the knowledge that I am never alone. A reminder, per the great Ram Dass, we are all simply, “walking each other home.” For me, It has nothing to do with a location – It is a lived experience fueled by the belief that fear and courage can coexist.
Today, do you still feel Unsettled?
Every day. I am still afraid of so many unknowns; Meetings life’s logistical demands, of roaming past my expiration date, and so goes the clip reel of my monkey mind – But I am free. Feeling Unsettled now means that I will be disappointed, but in the choice to accept what comes I am simultaneously choosing the grace that also delivers in my choice to leap. That’s exciting. And just in case fear tries to have its way with me again, I got a permanent reminder in Nicaragua — a tattoo that reads, “ Abrazar lo desconocido.” (Embrace the unknown) In short, a girl has no zip code.
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